Joy vs Happiness

The big successes are fun: finishing a long project, the applause after a performance, getting an A on a test. These are all moments I strive for– moments that give me great positive sensations. Yet these intensely pleasant occasions are only moments after all. They’re temporary and, for some, infrequent. 

I’ve noticed that these moments of happiness are often confused with joy. Happiness is a short-term positive feeling linked to external factors, often associated with achievements. For example, getting a promotion can spark happiness—a fleeting but highly rewarding experience. Joy, on the other hand, is not temporary; it is a state of being that can coexist with other emotions, including happiness. It can be described as a sense of peace, fulfillment, or purpose.

For much of my life, I didn’t know about this distinction, nor its importance. I thought of “joy” and “happiness” as interchangeable terms. Like many, I loved feeling great positive sensations and made efforts to experience them. But my efforts weren’t always motivated by the right reasons. I ended up “dictating” how I thought my life was going based off of those moments. For example, I would think, “If I have X amount of big wins in a month, then I’m doing well.”

I failed to realize this approach was flawed. First, big wins, successes, or moments of happiness cannot exist without sadness. Both feelings are important and come up, and thus finding fulfillment in life from the “highs” is unsustainable as they will ultimately be challenged by the “lows.” Second, this mindset entailed seeking validation from the external world, attributing my state of being to be based on factors outside of my control. 

Instead, I offer an approach that has helped me cultivate a stronger, more sustained sense of purpose—one rooted in inner control. It’s motivated by these questions: How can I find contentment in the mundane? What am I grateful for? What do I value in life? I’ve found that as I place these questions at the forefront of my mind, I am starting to develop a more prolonged sense of this positive feeling– a state of joy. Like everyone, I still experience both “highs” and “lows,” but even during the lows, I’m able to maintain a sense of peace. And I believe that this is part of the key to leading a successful, balanced, and fulfilled life– perhaps not for everyone, but arguably for many of us. 

I want to point out that all of this isn’t to say the big accomplishments shouldn't be enjoyed, but rather it’s that we shouldn’t be constantly seeking them. Like in many games, the big achievements follow the completion of each level. Like the big wins in life, these moments should be celebrated; they can represent milestones following hard work. However, the game shouldn’t be played solely for the celebrations that come after beating each level. We play because we love the entire process: the start, middle, and end, as well as both losing and winning. Similarly, while feeling happiness is important, it shouldn’t be relied on for our wellbeing. It’s joy that we should be actively striving for.

To summarize: 

• “Happiness” and “joy” are distinct: the first is a short-term positive feeling that is linked to external factors, and the second is a state of being that stems from within and can coexist with other emotions

• Even though they are both important, strive for joy, not happiness. This will allow us to sustain a long-term feeling of satisfaction that can persist through challenging times and give us meaning to life.